I imagine going a week without social media, cell phones, television, iPods and vacuum cleaners is going to be a little like fasting for five days, complete with nausea, hallucinations and borderline psychotic laughter. If my final blog for the week is composed entirely of the letters “H” and “A,” it’s probably because technological deprivation has led me to create a written language inspired by my own hysterical giggles.

(On a side note–vacuum cleaners aren’t actually banned by the high laws of the Week Without Technology. Just don’t tell my mother.)

This past weekend, I decided to make like a chipmunk by stuffing my figurative cheeks with cupcake recipes on Pinterest. I pinned strawberry cupcakes, pumpkin cupcakes, chai tea cupcakes, ice cream cone cupcakes, cupcakes with bunny ears, cupcakes filled with candy, cupcakes encased in candy, cupcakes that look like candy–I would give you the rest of the list, but I won’t be able to get it from Pinterest until Saturday. Shucks.

Suffice it to say that in order to try all of the recipes on my beautifully chaotic board, I would have to make a batch for each of my classes every day of this semester. Perhaps I’d have time to get through them all from A to Z–almond vanilla to zucchini chocolate–if I didn’t waste so many afternoons finding new recipes.

In the midst of this cupcake tragedy, my week in the nineteenth century does have one bright spot. Without Pinterest, I no longer have to feel guilty about ruining the purity of my healthier followees’ diet and fitness pins with my own images of peanut-butter stuffed chocolate cupcakes and 100 varieties of buttercream frosting.

I apologize, fellow Pinterest users. I assure you, the only diet I’m trying to ruin is my own.

But look at it this way: my pins of three-bite desserts that pack 500 calories apiece are testing your ability to resist the sugary sweets that waft beneath your nose in real life, just as seeing the Safari icon at the bottom of my desktop as I type this blog forces me to fight the temptation to open the bountiful browser of the Internet and start clicking my “Pin It” button.

It’s going to be a long week.