Transgender staffer recounts his experiences during transition
Lane Weis, a transgender junior at Free State, transitioned his freshman year of high school. Although it was difficult for Weis at first, he now is more confident with expressing his identity.
If you’ve ever talked to me, you probably know I’m transgender. I mention it all the time and unlike the past few years, I’ve stopped trying to keep it a secret. I no longer feel like my identity is something that needs to stay hidden, the way it used to be. Now, I feel free to express myself as much as I want.
…Well, that’s not quite true. Although Lawrence is a very liberal town, I’ve run into some things that have made me far from comfortable with my gender. Well-meaning but uneducated “allies” use insulting terminology. People I’ve considered friends come out of nowhere with transphobic jokes. Teachers don’t understand what the big deal is—if I’m listed in the records as female, shouldn’t they refer to me as such? I’m proud of who I am, but situations like these make me uncomfortable sharing my identity with everyone else.
When I first walked into Free State a little over two years ago, I had decided that I would present as fully male from that point on. I told people to call me Lane, but didn’t explain why, hoping they’d figure it out on their own (spoiler: they didn’t). My teachers were confused, my friends and classmates were confused, and most of all, I was confused. I had no idea what I was doing—I hadn’t even told my parents that I was going to be “Lane” at school. They knew I was transgender but didn’t really understand why, which made them uncomfortable with the idea of me calling myself by a different name and pronouns. I hoped that doing my actions would pressure them into acceptance.
During a trip to San Diego in the summer of 2008, Lane Weis (age 9) visited the Quail Botanical Gardens. Weis recalls how different things were at that time. “As a kid, I considered myself a tomboy; I wore a lot of t-shirts and jeans. I sort of made a game out of seeing how many people thought I was a guy,” Weis said.
As you might assume, this plan fell apart pretty quickly. My friends still used my birth name and she/her pronouns. At parent-teacher conferences, my parents realized what I had been doing, due to comments like “Oh, you must be Lane’s parents!” After this, I explained the situation to them, and together we devised a plan where I would come out as transgender on Facebook. From there, I would allow the news to circulate from there by word of mouth.
On December 11, 2013, I “officially” came out about my gender. Although this was a huge step, it was a rocky road from there. I avoided all mentions of being trans in public, either in an implicit or explicit way. For instance, if my friends talked about their experiences in boy scouts or girl scouts, I merely said “scouts.” No one got to see old pictures of me—period. I shied away from all things vaguely feminine, from speech patterns and mannerisms to nail polish. It was, as I refer to it now, A Dark Time.
Being open about my identity has freed me up in an astounding way. I’m comfortable correcting people about my pronouns now. My past isn’t shameful. And this summer after the Supreme Court decision, I painted my nails—rainbow, of course—for the first time in over three years.
Getting to the place I’m at now has certainly been a struggle, but I’m very grateful to have arrived here. My friends, both in Free State and out, both students and teachers, have been immensely helpful to me over the course of these years. Without them I would not have the confidence that I do now in proclaiming to the whole school that I am transgender and I am proud.
